my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
The air taste purple.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize