whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
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