When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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