You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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