I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize