Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
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You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
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You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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