Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
There r osticjed everywhere
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You dont lie about slip and slides
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize