Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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