lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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