guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize