I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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