Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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