Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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