No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize