so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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