hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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