i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
this will be a night to untag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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