Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
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The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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