not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize