I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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