Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize