I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
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she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
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May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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