I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize