pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize