I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
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