The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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