she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize