member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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