You're my little dorito
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There r osticjed everywhere
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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