At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
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I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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