the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
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I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
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How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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