just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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