you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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