My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize