OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
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so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
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I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Enjoy the penises
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize