I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think im going to throw up on grandma
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
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I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
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