sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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