Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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