Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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