I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
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