The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize