You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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