Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You made out with two different species that night
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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