I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
In America we eat man semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize