I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize