and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
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His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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