HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize