Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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