Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
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