Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
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